Glimmers

Finding light in the darkness

Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash

How are you all doing? This week has been hard, and I don’t even live in the US where things must seem really tough right now, just watching from the other side of the pond is more than I can fathom. All of this (the politics in UK and US) combined with the usual January blues, crappy weather and long wintry days - never mind dealing with a chronic illness and all that it brings - has made me feel despondent, I don’t know about you?

Monday just gone has been labelled as ‘Blue Monday’ - the most depressing day of the year - by the media who use it to try and sell us holidays in the sun to take away our depression (if only it were that easy). This ‘Blue Monday’ we also saw the return of the ‘Tangerine Tyrant’ back in power in the White House so it was doubly depressing.

I won’t lie to you, I felt like giving up, I lacked energy already, and did not have anything in me to fight, to create, to rise above it all and feel hope. I was so lost. If someone could have got me on a flight to Australia I wouldn’t have even turned to wave goodbye as I boarded (Sadly that didn’t happen). We get days like this don’t we (unless it is just me?) where everything just feels too hard, too dark, too hopeless, and it is so easy to spin out of control and find yourself whirling down without anything to hold on to.

But, two things happened this week that pulled me out of that dark place, and both of them brought with them a ‘glimmer’ - small postive moments of joy that make you feel safe, calm, connected, joyful.

The first glimmer came in the form of Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde in the US who dared to speak directly to Donald Tr*mp and ask him to have mercy on those people who feel so afraid right now, because of his policies and his, frankly, unchristian views towards the LGBTQA+ community, immigrants, families of immigrants, and the poor and marginalised communities across America. She was calm, composed, and kind in her speaking, and reminded those listening that these were true Christian and biblical values. It was perfect. If you haven’t heard about it you can read (and listen to it) here. It was beautiful, and hopeful to hear her speaking so candidly to him, whilst he sat there stony faced. Despite him calling her ‘nasty and uncompelling’ amongst other things, and calls for her to step down and apologise, she is resolute and rightly finds no reason to take back anything she has said. That she, a female Bishop, had the strength to face him and speak up could not have been more of a glimmer of hope, that there are good people who will not stand by idly while the world burns.

The second glimmer came from time spent with poets, writing and sharing poems, about the gloom and glimmers we find in winter, and it was SO needed, and so good. If you don’t already follow

Lorna Rose Gill

I would encourage you to take a look at her Substack. Her regular Zoom gatherings have been a source of real inspiration for me and this last one was no exception. We read poetry and brain dumped our hatred of winter, before thinking of all the things we love about this time of year, and wrote poems inspired by wintry photos we had taken, and thought about how we can use resolutions to turn our backs on the negativity. I thoroughly enjoyed being part of it, and being in the company of some really fab Liverpool poets too was an added bonus.

I would therefore like to ask you to look for glimmers around you right now, even if it means looking back on old photos, or thinking back to times when things were good, or just the joy you feel as you wrap a blanket around you on a cold day, or the gentle voice of a loved one - whatever it is, allow it to soothe your soul, and bring you back to the the truth that “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” (Martin Luther King Jr.) The glimmers we find bring light into the darkness, the kindnesses we show, the love we show, and the kindness we recieve can overcome the hatred we see around us. As the Monty Python song goes ‘Always look on the bright side of life’

With that, I will share the poem I wrote on Wednesday evening, and the photo that inspired it. It was taken from my bed on a snowy morning this month, and as bed is a place I spend a lot of time in, sometimes feeling sorry for myself, I thought it a good place to start when looking for glimmers.

Glimmers

From my bed, I gaze out of the window
The net curtain partly obscurring my view
I can see enough to recognise snow,
clinging to the rooftops across the road
I am warm and comfortable

The yellow of my duvet brings me sunshine 
pink stained glass patterns glisten
with frost
It is darker than usual for this time of day
and yet, there is light
A pure white sky above us

Trees line the street, now bare of the leaves
that block the view in summer time
My green curtains providing leaf-like frame now 
I pull up my duvet over me
thankful for the time to rest

Content that I do not have to battle through 
the chaos of the morning rush hour
My hands warming around my cup of tea
Rather than frost-bitten from clearing the windscreen

There is no birdsong today, 
the snow muting the noise of the morning traffic
and providing joyful noises from the children 
as they throw snowballs and make friends with 
the snowman who wears their scarf. 

May you find a glimmer or two this week

Thanks for reading, let me know what you think in the comments

Lisa x