It’s a very interesting read Lisa, coming from the other side. Brought up atheist but with a knowledge of god. I’m still atheist. I believe there very probably was a man called Jesus who said great things. But I hate the way the bible has been twisted to suit men’s needs and desire to subjugate women and others. I understand how some churches can give a feeling of community and friendship, but some are also downright awful and have no semblance of Christianity really. I have never understood ‘Christian’s’ who ask how atheists don’t do good deeds if they don’t believe in god. Don’t they have an internal moral compass? Can they really only stay good if commanded by a supernatural authority? And when you look at a lot of the American churches they are exactly what Jesus would have hated!
Thank you for sharing your experience and your truth. I have deconstructed in many many ways at different times over my life and I have, step by careful step, reconstructed my faith in relationship with God and without the pain I felt within churches. My faith now is centered around the words of Jesus and the call to love one another, it is a faith which is all inclusive of everyone and doesn't judge. I still feel such disappointment with how churches can use the Bible and I often think of turning away, but God doesn't seem to want to let me go and so I keep praying for better in all churches and loving people exactly as they are.
Thanks Emma, I am glad that you have been able to reconstruct your faith and relationship with God. I am not there yet, but I am thankful that there are people who understand the journey and walk alongside me on it.
sharing can be such a powerful part of a healing journey, proud of you for writing and posting this! 💜 and of course for all the inner work you’re doing. as humans we all want to belong somewhere and giving up the community aspect of a religion is not an easy thing. fwiw, this atheist is happy to be in poetry community with you! 🫶
In some ways, I’m thankful for the grounding of something. There were some benefits given some of the traumatic experiences I went through.
I could never get my head around how they believed god would intervene and do all the work for humanity. And how only Jehovah’s witnesses would be left and they would live forever and ever on earth.
It just didn’t add up and kept niggling. A bit like when I was told there was no hope with chronic illness and it was my fault the meds didn’t work. And a quieter voice was whispering there must be another way.
I was 17 when I left. I simply couldn’t live what they referred to as a “double life” when I discovered drink and sex.
It caused a lot of guilt and doubt.
I later found out many were happy to live this so called double life. As a lot of the weddings I attended as a child, were having affairs with one another.
I had no regrets.
And this just about sums it up “I saw their true colours, and felt their lack of support.”
They abandon people when you need them most. What is godly about that?
Wow, that must have been a tough upbringing, I think the JW’s are harder to leave than the christian church in some ways. Glad you have found healing and freedom outside of it all. There is a lot of duplicity in the church too, so many people with issues covering them up to look good and claim leadership positions and never dealing with them, ultimately they fall, and there have been so many pastors and leaders having affairs, or being caught in SA it’s unreal. I never found healing in the church, which is odd given they talk so much about it, but I am finding now, and that’s all that matters to me. Hopefully I will find community again outside of it too. Thanks for your message, its good to know there are others isn’t it.
Indeed! It is so good to find a community of folk who are showing up and doing the work and leading the way into healing and growth, I am so grateful to be part of it all. I am thankful for the lessons I learnt through trauma that I would never have made me a stronger and more reslilient person. I will check out that book, it sounds good, thanks :)
Without bypassing the horror show of it all, and all that I suffered and endured, I bloomin well honour and recognise that too…but I have come to see it all as a gift and I can hand on heart say I would not change any of it.
I see that I thrive now - not in spite of it all - but because of it.
On the back of getting to know you better on here, I’m looking forward to you joining us in the next Wellness Maidens even more now☺️
Aw thanks, I'm looking forward to joining in. I would have joined in on Friday but I'm away!! It's so good to have people who are on a similar journey to build community with!
It’s a very interesting read Lisa, coming from the other side. Brought up atheist but with a knowledge of god. I’m still atheist. I believe there very probably was a man called Jesus who said great things. But I hate the way the bible has been twisted to suit men’s needs and desire to subjugate women and others. I understand how some churches can give a feeling of community and friendship, but some are also downright awful and have no semblance of Christianity really. I have never understood ‘Christian’s’ who ask how atheists don’t do good deeds if they don’t believe in god. Don’t they have an internal moral compass? Can they really only stay good if commanded by a supernatural authority? And when you look at a lot of the American churches they are exactly what Jesus would have hated!
Thank you for sharing your experience and your truth. I have deconstructed in many many ways at different times over my life and I have, step by careful step, reconstructed my faith in relationship with God and without the pain I felt within churches. My faith now is centered around the words of Jesus and the call to love one another, it is a faith which is all inclusive of everyone and doesn't judge. I still feel such disappointment with how churches can use the Bible and I often think of turning away, but God doesn't seem to want to let me go and so I keep praying for better in all churches and loving people exactly as they are.
Thanks Emma, I am glad that you have been able to reconstruct your faith and relationship with God. I am not there yet, but I am thankful that there are people who understand the journey and walk alongside me on it.
sharing can be such a powerful part of a healing journey, proud of you for writing and posting this! 💜 and of course for all the inner work you’re doing. as humans we all want to belong somewhere and giving up the community aspect of a religion is not an easy thing. fwiw, this atheist is happy to be in poetry community with you! 🫶
I can relate to so much of this.
I was brought up as a Jehovah’s Witness.
In some ways, I’m thankful for the grounding of something. There were some benefits given some of the traumatic experiences I went through.
I could never get my head around how they believed god would intervene and do all the work for humanity. And how only Jehovah’s witnesses would be left and they would live forever and ever on earth.
It just didn’t add up and kept niggling. A bit like when I was told there was no hope with chronic illness and it was my fault the meds didn’t work. And a quieter voice was whispering there must be another way.
I was 17 when I left. I simply couldn’t live what they referred to as a “double life” when I discovered drink and sex.
It caused a lot of guilt and doubt.
I later found out many were happy to live this so called double life. As a lot of the weddings I attended as a child, were having affairs with one another.
I had no regrets.
And this just about sums it up “I saw their true colours, and felt their lack of support.”
They abandon people when you need them most. What is godly about that?
Wow, that must have been a tough upbringing, I think the JW’s are harder to leave than the christian church in some ways. Glad you have found healing and freedom outside of it all. There is a lot of duplicity in the church too, so many people with issues covering them up to look good and claim leadership positions and never dealing with them, ultimately they fall, and there have been so many pastors and leaders having affairs, or being caught in SA it’s unreal. I never found healing in the church, which is odd given they talk so much about it, but I am finding now, and that’s all that matters to me. Hopefully I will find community again outside of it too. Thanks for your message, its good to know there are others isn’t it.
They are very strict.
Have you read the way of integrity by Marty beck? My goodness. What she endured leaving the Mormon religion.
Another nail hit right on the head:
“I never found healing in the church, which is odd given they talk so much about”
I think there are many of us here now, yourself included, that are building community from the ground up.
Nothing plagiarised.
Showing up as we are.
Doing the work.
Prioritising our needs.
All that is currently missing.
But the past - no matter how harrowing - is nevertheless what brought us here. What made this possible.
Indeed! It is so good to find a community of folk who are showing up and doing the work and leading the way into healing and growth, I am so grateful to be part of it all. I am thankful for the lessons I learnt through trauma that I would never have made me a stronger and more reslilient person. I will check out that book, it sounds good, thanks :)
I feel very much the same!
Without bypassing the horror show of it all, and all that I suffered and endured, I bloomin well honour and recognise that too…but I have come to see it all as a gift and I can hand on heart say I would not change any of it.
I see that I thrive now - not in spite of it all - but because of it.
On the back of getting to know you better on here, I’m looking forward to you joining us in the next Wellness Maidens even more now☺️
Aw thanks, I'm looking forward to joining in. I would have joined in on Friday but I'm away!! It's so good to have people who are on a similar journey to build community with!
Thanks Pixie!! 🫶🏼